realized

so i just realized that i have a crush on someone i didnt think i had a crush on. i actually liked the person before but, i decided not to do anything because i had a feeling she didnt like me, especially because of my vices. but i think its too late now anyways, i think my heart is having a hard time figuring out stuff. i think i like too many people and it sucks. but the ones i do like i like them for them, not just because they are cute but because they are their own person. 

anyways i found my old poems from middle school and highschool and im going to start posting them and remixing them, because i have found more to add to them, so basically i am remixing them. enjoy...here is one

The Outcast (remix) 

i am the outcast in school

people think i am a fool

i am like a damaged rose

who has not yet arose 

i am like a bird who can not fly

who is destined not  fall and die

I listen to different music, and wear different clothes

i am isolated, like time has froze

i am the outcast here

i am meant to live without friends, i am suppose to live in fear

till the end

i watch the clock as time bends

i wait to see what god sends

i await a letter 

that has the answers

to all the questions i have 

so i can live my life at last 

i dont want to be the outcast anymore

but i realized that i am, and i have so much more

i have much more than anybody

and i have learned to accept my body

i have learned to accept my mind

my soul

my goals

my fears

my past

my future 

i have learned to accept my self

so i have come to realize that i am the outcast

i have come to realize that i am normal 

i have come to realize that you are the outcast

i have come to realize that i dont want to be normal

i will not conform 

to the typical form

to the mold

that you hold

but deep inside i do want to be accepted in this society

but right now i am content with what has been given to me