i feel

i feel left out

i just realized

i just realized that i have some good friends. i was smoking hookah and studying with my friend drew. drew is a good good friend, i would say a pretty close one, cuz he knows alot of my secrets and my personal life, and well we took a break from studying to talk and feel like human beings again. i told him about my problems, and stressed, we talked about relationships and the usual guy thing, girls ahah. we have alot in common in all of those but in the end, it felt good to hear him say that i am a strong person, and that im here after all the shit ive gone through and still going through today. and it feels good to feel and see what its like to have real friends, ones that wont hurt you. i hope the friends i have now, the close ones, stay with me through out my college career and after college. thank you all who has been and still here with me, thank you for the ones who are true people. thank you all.

this girl

It's so hard to see the girl you like and not say anything because she  
has you speechless. It's hard because she doesn't know how much you  
like her and that you would never do anything to hurt her and that you  
won't be like all the other guys that she has been with. It's crazy  
that I have liked this girl for the past three years and I have yet to  
even hold her hand or even go on a date with her. She is so cute smart  
funny and she is the kind of girl that you can take home to mom and  
dad. A guy can dream right?

feels good to be right

i recall a "friend" or "ex-friend" crying on the floor in a public area saying he wishing things could be the same or id give up her just to be friends again. i recall the person telling me to my face before the crying ordeal that he would drop the girl so that we could hopefully be friends again. i recall this person this person that he made mistakes and would never make these same mistakes again because he knew it was wrong. what to my surprise, he tells me that they were making out or kissing, i dont remember, and in his head he said that he knew it was wrong, and that he should be doing this because it would fuck up our friendship or what was left of it even more. after him telling me that i told him im going back inside cuz im tired of it, and this revolving door, and thats when he falls to the ground crying infront of my other friend. the girl tells me that he deleted her off facebook, that he said he aint talking to her anymore and not to say hi or sumthing of that nature, basically cutting her off completely. and the girl tells me that she isnt going to talk him back cuz shes so hurt about what he said. i told her that it wasnt going to last that long, and they would start talking again because this whole thing has been a giant circle. and what do u know?! i was right. it feels oh so good to be right. they are dead to me now, they are bull shit. and my new quote that i made up is...

"if there is bull shit in your life and its in the way, its only bull shit, walk over it or around it and keep going on with your life =]"

i dont need these people in my life, because all they did was bring me heart break, stress, anger, and oh so much more. i dont deserve this shit right now in my life, cuz i have more than enough going on. so fuck u noel and fuck u angela. and hello future roads ahead =]

fuck my life

this website is so funny! and i found sum good ones

here a couple 

"Today, I was on the internet with my Dad looking up information about allergies. I began to type 'allergies' into the Google Search Box and as I typed 'a', the phrase 'amazing sex positions' popped up as a search I had already looked up. My Dad asked me if any of the positions worked out. FML"

"Today, I sent a text to my boyfriend saying 'Come over and have sex with me.' He never responded. FML"

in recent events

in recent events, there have been drama, heart breaks, friendships and what not. the reason i became extremely upset was not because of a girl but for the principles that were violated and broken. i am pretty sure people who know me were aware of my feelings and there was something wrong in my life. 

the whole situation started because a friend did something shady in my eyes and in the eyes of others. i understand that the person has been sorry and has been saying sorry but to me they are just words and the actions that were done speak louder and are way stronger than words. i also placed in front of the person facts and the option to proceed with what he was doing. i will admit it was a trap and if you think that is fucked up of me then fine but the trap was to see what kind of person he was. you have 2 options, to go for the cheese or walk away, and he went for the cheese and the trap fell down. 

there are so much more to this situation but this is just the gist of it. time to move on. every dog has his day and it is his day

jealous much?

wow i feel like people may plan their intentions because i know sumone who put me on this big guilt trip saying i was cock blocking and when i step down there he swoops in. wow right? idk if i have a right to be mad or jealous but fuck this feeling sucks. what a way to enter my birthday, which is less than a week away. i really just want to move away or break sumthing and shit. fuck