i am moving

im moving to tumbr. this is where i will be updating for now on. if you still want to read my stuff and what not just go to this link

xxthelostasianxx.tumblr.com

it feels like something is missing in my life. its summer time and i see all the couples walking around or pictures of couples. i was on myspace and came across a bulletin about relationships and i noticed i haven’t been in too many relationships which makes me pretty new to the game. what i know is that i am happier when I’m in a relationship. i want to be in something that will last longer than 2 months (my longest relationship). it would be nice to have someone to hold and look into their eyes and know u would take care of them as much as you take of your self. i guess i like to dream, but who doesn’t?

“Cause in the end
The ash falls off the cigarettes
The sun still sets
And I hope you know
That I’ll still love you in the morning
When it rises”

—	Jesse Barrera

the days roll by and im stuck in this routine
i am in dire need for a new scene
a different atmosphere
a new sound in my ear
i want to break this chain
i dont want to live like this where everything is the same
im ready to wake up to a different day

it kind of sucks when you realize that you are always placed in the friend zone. nothing seems to change i guess. another thing is when a friend says nice guys finish last, and again you realize that its you, the nice guy who is finishing last. when will things change? change would be nice from this routine of mine.

am i really that nice of a guy that i get placed in the friend zone? am i so nice that i have to finish last? change isn't too much to ask for.

opportunities have been lost in my eyes. chances were never given. not even a date. i think if i was given a chance, who ever that person is would have a wonderful time with me. smiles on their face, comfort in their heart, security on their body, and relief in their mind. but do i really have a say in this? yes i do because everyone i've dated hasn't complained, only agreement on what i have stated.

the songs

i was surfing around the facebook site and came across a couple singing together. it made me feel jealous. i was jealous because i want what they have. i want to sing together with my girl (where ever she is). and the songs ive been listening to have been making me like singing

poem/song/rap coming soon

while being productive in class, i came across a girls update, it was a girl that i liked for a year or 2 and memories about when i tried to holler.

it really sucks when you know something could have been really good, a wonderful relationship, an understanding relationship, a trusting relationship, a relationship that was worth trying...but what keeps me from that? age. wow. just because i am younger than her by 2 years. being younger makes her feel weird, odd, out of the norm. she knows i can treat her right, she knows i was there when ever she was feeling down, we both have a lot in common, but AGE is the factor that holds me and her back from something that could be good.

so is age really that big of a factor, when the years are only 2-3? is age really worth not giving a chance to someone? its funny because you know we both have so much in common. but what holds YOU back, is the fact that i am 2-3 years younger.

but what can i do but move on because i am tired of not getting a chance, when i give chances to others

karma whats up with that?